Adam's Breakfast Blog

Adam's Breakfast Blog

6th December 2011

Christmas Dins:  A revelation in the news about families choosing curry instead of turkey this Christmas led us on to the classic debate – do you go traditional or have something a little bit different for your Christmas lunch?  Some reported meats like wild boar or goose or duck at dinner, whilst the more inventive went for Christmas stew… One caller confessed to cooking frozen pizza and chips for the family one year, without burning it. Genius!

Big Bums:  According to new research, sitting down on your bum will make it bigger.  This is because the mechanical load upon the fat cells of one’s behind causes them to stretch past their elastic limit, meaning that they retain the wider, squished shape.  Chris quite rightly made the point that this could be why some people’s bums look like the chair’s they’re sat in.

The Tree:  Last night, we erected the great Christmas Tree of Fairford Leys in my little flat.  I don’t there has ever been a less appropriate use of the word ‘great…’  Anyway, we were somewhat disturbed when we opened the box to see that, due to our haste when putting it away in January, we bent the top of the tree into the container, leaving it with a 45 degree angle on the end.  At least it’ll be comfortable for the fairy, who gets to sit atop a branch parallel with the floor rather than…the other option…

Posted by Adam Morris at 11:13am

Adam's Breakfast Blog

18th November 2011

Delia: It looks like Delia has scored another winner with her boxed Christmas cake ingredients. You get all of the dry ingredients, chopped and measured and weighed in a series of airtight bags to take the hassle out of making cake. You just have to add the dairy stuff and away you go.  However, Maskery was disgusted at the asking price for this box - £10 for 200g of flour and some raisins? Ouch!  My mum has bought one. She’s a sucker for the marketing…

Christmas: With the big lights switch on in Aylesbury last night, a festive pint and a quick mince pie, I was feeling quite Christmassy this morning.  We talked about the first signs of Christmas, and many people said the coca cola advert signifies the dawn of the festive season… Some said the smell of a box of xmas chocs, whilst Chris Maskery found that the very act of pulling up his coat collar as he steps out of a colorful boutique is enough for him to get in the spirit.  Bring on the mulled wine, friends!

The Pilot:  I saw a worrying news story about a pilot who got caught out when the toilet door locked him in, leaving an increasingly anxious co-pilot in the cockpit during the final approach with a passenger knocking on the door (as instructed by the trapped Captain) trying to explain the situation… Unfortunately, the co-pilot, somewhat perturbed by events, told the ground controllers that the captain had disappeared and a passenger was trying to get access to the cockpit, resulting in the alert of the armed forces and the near-scramble of fighter jets.  When the Captain finally knocked the door down, he was suitably embarrassed.  I’ve been in a similar situation getting into a radio station once… I had to kick the toilet door in…

Posted by Adam Morris at 11:07am

Adam's Breakfast Blog

15th November 2011

Pat Sharp:  I’ve known Pat Sharp since I did work experience in 2004.  I remember him very specifically telling me that he wouldn’t ever do reality television because it lacked credibility and was a sell-out.  Desperate times…? He’s in the jungle, so this morning we started our appeal to get people to MAKE Pat do the bushwacker trials.  I want to see him sobbing uncontrollably like Paul Burrell did years ago, preferably whilst eating a ‘kangaroo sausage,’ or a piece of antelope that people wouldn’t normally share a room with… Continue the campaign, please.

Christmas Treats:  The results of a taste test are in and it’s officially best to get the supermarket brands for value and flavor, rather than the posh expensive Harrods stuff.  For example, and ASDA Xmas pud at £3 beats the Heston Blumenthal jobby that comes in at nearly 15 squids!  It’s obvious why, too; Heston’s pudding probably contains some of the stuff that I’m hoping Pat Sharp will be eating later on this month…

Getting Old:  People accused me of getting old just because I bought Brut deodorant, which my grandfather used to wear, apparently.  So, this morning we were chatting about those little signs in life that you’re getting older – including having to go to the loo in the middle of the night, wearing white string vests, thinking every policeman looks too young and using phrases like ‘back in my day…!’ I’m ticking most of these boxes… You?

Posted by Adam Morris at 10:38am

Adam's Breakfast Blog

14th November 2011

Pop-Up Tree:  There’s news today of a pop-up Christmas tree, which I could do with. The cheap artificial tree I bought a couple of years ago drops more artificial needles than a real one would drop proper needles – totally defying the point of having a plastic tree in the first place.  Anyway, I have a better idea – what about an artificial Christmas tree with Velcro needles that comes with a box of Velcro baubles. You could take the boredom out of hanging decorations by hurling them at the tree and watching them stick. Some people these days would call that art…!

Christmas: We talked about taking the hassle out of Christmas today – what would you wish for to make it go that little bit more smoothly?  David said something in the food to get the relatives asleep before the arguments start, many people said some form of wrapping fairy to take care of that, whilst one bloke was desperate for Christmas cards that write themselves.  (I don’t do xmas cards…is that bad?) 

The X Factor:  Did anybody else have to dive behind the sofa and hide their face in embarrassment when Kitty did her final parting shot on the X Factor? It was a line from Lady Gaga’s Born This Way delivered in a shaking, distorted below of questionable tuning.  I thought it was going to be the most awkward television moment of 2011, until the bloke from Corrie cried at the start of I’m a Celeb…!

Posted by Adam Morris at 11:54am

Adam's Breakfast Blog

9th November 2011

The Tooth Fairy:  A report out today shows that the tooth fairy has different exchange rates depending on where in the country you are. For example, in Hull, you’ll get just 5 pence per tooth, whereas in London, the average is £5 per tooth.  I know times are hard and all that, but 5 pence? Here in Aylesbury Vale, I’d estimate that the average payment per gnasher should fall somewhere around the £3.70 mark… Any less than that, and a strongly worded letter to the tooth fairy is certainly in order.

Pets:  We were talking about humanizing animals this morning, after I confessed to spending the first part of the day chatting to my girlfriend’s cat… Many people confessed to getting more sense out of their domestic pets than their other halves, and one bloke even admitted that he often bathes with his Staffordshire Bull Terrier…

Dave Lee Travis: Broadcasting legend Dave Lee Travis joined us for a chinwag about the talent competition that you could be a part of next year at Aylesbury’s Waterside Theatre – The Best Of Bucks.  If you have any talent that would entertain a crowd, you can find out more about how to get involved at mix96.co.uk!

Frankie Cocozza:  Who?  Brilliant, isn’t it?

Posted by Adam Morris at 11:22am